Dear friends,
In my struggle with gentleness I can often blame my irritability or anger on the child’s character.
“If they were just xyz then I wouldn’t respond this way”
If they were less loud… intense… fearful… strong willed…
You fill in the blank.
I’ve come to notice that when I am attempting to force my children to become more of something they’re not, this is when I become less gentle.
I’m irritated when they are fearful of trying something new.
I’m irritated when they want to talk for the whole journey when I just want silence
We can look at other peoples children and think “if God had given me children like them, then I wouldn’t have this struggle”.
But 5 children in, I’ve come to realise it isn’t the child’s character that’s the problem.
If that were the case then there would surely be at least one of my children that I am the “perfect” mother to.
Far from it.
It’s the sin in my heart that makes me harsh.
And perhaps this is the whole point - there’s stuff He needs to work through in us. For example, I was a fearful child, so I find it hard when my kids are fearful as I desperately don’t want them to endure the kind of anguish I went through.. but dysfunctionally this makes me less gentle not more, as I act out of anxiety and frustration, not love.
Yet His plan is perfect.
Our children are wonderfully and perfectly made by an all knowing father who entrusted them to us in all their uniqueness, and called us to love them as they are. Not to love them once we’ve made them less intense, fearful or loud.
Yet our capacity to love them as they are can only come from receiving that same unearned, patient love from the Lord.
So join me in contemplating the riches of this verse, available as a free printable for you.
Download your free printable here ♥️
Would you join me in memorising its truth this week?
I look forward to sharing more next week, including interviews with wise women who have grappled with this journey too.
In the meantime, do join me in praying this prayer, but also, these two books Different and Child Proof are treasure troves of wisdom in this area ♥️
Jessica
